It is often said that what irritates us most in others is a reflection of our own faults and failings. I believe this is true and can only be addressed in one way. We need firstly to forgive ourselves from our own faults and mistakes before moving forward with the understanding of others.
When we do this, we become more tolerant of others that display similar traits to ourselves. This is the basis of many religious teachings but is not emphasised enough. It is said that harbouring a grudge actually hurts us more that the person who has wronged or annoyed us.
I think the opposite is also true. To retain self condemnation prevents us from forgiving others and moving forward. If you want to be loving person , start by loving yourself. This is best demonstrated in Christianity where being forgiven by God in an unconditional way is the first step to self love which translates to love of others. It is the opposite to selfishness, it is true altruism.
Peter Bull ( Author of the Get InTouch Series )